Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
