Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
If I die, sorry about rent.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
