There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
