"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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