we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize