Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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