she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Actions speak louder than pants.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
This is classic penis vs brain.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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