Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Randomize
