ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
