ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
