just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
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