I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize