whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
we're so committed to being not committed
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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