member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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