your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
