I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize