No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
They took my balls.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
