Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
