i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
