I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize