Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
