She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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