wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
