The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
