forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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