Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
so that wasnt chicken after all
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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