I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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