You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Sex in the backyard? Check.
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