Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize