we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Say something about gay babies.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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