guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
