i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I think I just sharted jello shots
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
