so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
