is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
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