i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize