Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize