So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize