I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
