i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
