worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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