I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
