I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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