drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize