why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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