We're like a lot better than the average bears
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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