Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I pour the whiskey from now on
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