Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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