We need to rekindle our bromance
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize