is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
3 2 1 whiskey
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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