after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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