nut hugger
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I am naked and annoyed.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
