I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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