She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
