Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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