You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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