so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
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I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
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He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
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