my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
No I am not eating basil off your cock
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
