There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Randomize
