At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
