I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
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