Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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