I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
