The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
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