I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize